Music has been part of my life ever since my dad brought me a walkman cassette player.Well the ownership of it is still a point for debate between me and my sis..I repeat my statement"..My dad bought ME..".I think I was about 11 or something.Am not saying I never listened to music before that.But it was the walkman that gave me the freedom to choose what I wana listen to and when I wanted to listen.Even though that freedom was limitted to a single cassette of 'The Bombay Girl'(I have been trying so hard in vain to find those tracks online) and the 12 tracks in it, it really was something.May be its those nights, falling asleep listening to Alisha Chinnoy's voice that has made me so addicted to music.

I have come a long way from Alisha..Hanging out with Phalguni, spending a while with West life and Backstreet boys..then Micheal Jackson, Abba, Rafi..learning how beautiful old malayalam tracks are..then back to pop with Jlo (I hanged on to her for a very long time),Kylie minogue, Savage Garden,Evanescence..My taste has varied with large deviations..and it still does..from Tylor Swift to As I lay Dying

For me music is something really powerful.I donno how Rahman does it.How do they do it?Creating something that can make such an effect on human brain.I mean I should know cause music is the only thing that has got me through nights with splitting headache and times when I cant control my anger.Music has made me cry, it has made me sing and it has even made me dance.Note that I don't like doing any of those things.It really astounds me.it is basically nothing but vibrations..but how could it make someone feel stuff way more than vibrations? There must be thousands and thousand tracks in our brain right?I mean there are so many tunes and songs that I listen to for the first time every other day.its absolutely astounding.. And sometimes when you listen to a track u haven't listened to in a while and suddenly you get a rush of emotions which takes you back to the time you used listen to that track..have you guys felt that??..thats music playing games with your memories..its like it has a key to open your heart and that safe vault of your memories in your head..wierd..and yet I love it when that happens!!!Here is my current favorite list.I hope you guys like 'em too


Tear drops on my guitar-Taylor Swift-It is so straight forward.so straight from the heart in simple words.I love her for that song that made me cry the first time I listened to it.If you have ever felt like whats being sung in this song,it will definitely strike a cord in your heart

The Darkest nights-As I lay dying-Its so'WOW'..I had friends who screamed at me for making them listen to AILD.But I believe once you learn to listen beyond all the screaming its beyond beautiful.And even those who call it screaming must admit that the opening bit is just g8.

Collapse-Rise against:well, I've always like rhyming stuff..the lyrics are pretty cool..and so is the upbeat tune..if you like this one you will also like Entertainment

Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai -remix(Woh Lamhe 2006)-Donno how g8 this song is.But everytime I listen to it, makes me miss the joy being young ,stupid and in love..miss those days!

As I Lay Dying - The Sound of Truth-There is a electric guitar solo thingy by the end(from 3.02 to 3.37 exactly) which is just out of this world.Well yes,in the beginnig it leaves your head throbbing.But really people there IS music in it.you just have to find it.

Oorvasi Oorvasi - What a song man!!!Hail A R Rahman!!!i havnt figured out the whole song..yetto understand the meaning of almost half of it..but it is still one of favs

Uyire Uyire - Bombay-Hail A R Rahman!!!He really is the meastro!

Tum Se Hi - Jab We Met-I donno..I love this song.May be its the scene wit Kareena dancing in the rain.Though I dont like Bebo that much, I have a thing for rain.Anything to do with rain is my favorite.

Mehfuz-Euphoria -It is one of the most saddest and feel-all-fuzzy-inside songs I have ever heard.With out any reason at all this song has made me cry.And also it was when Palash and the band was playing this song during AAGNEYA-09 that I realized that missing all those classes and getting into all those risky businesses was really worth it.

Puthu vellai mazhai- ROJA- A R R does it agian.One un-believably sensous song.What more to say !

Tourniquet- Evanescence -Am really not a religious person.But this is one of my favourite songs.Words of a soul trapped and scared of being shut out of the world beyond for the crime of committing suicide-It has such frustration and emotion in it.

Everybody's fool-Evanescence- Another one with un-belivable lyrics

Maanam thelinje vannal-Thenmaavin kombathu - my longest favorite malayalam song.i hear it was Choreographed by shobhana.it is one of the most beautiful video made in malayalam cinema

Bheegi bheegi raathon main-remix-my heart skips a beat when i listen to this one..Rain is like my favorite theme ever..so this this one is too dear a song for me!

LOST INSANITY!?!

Man!!!Its been SO long since I wrote anything other than assignments and exams.I donno if i still remember how to write(type)..let me see..'am' comes with 'I'..'are' comes with ....yup still got everything that rohini ma'm taught!

so what to write???
I got to write something..
hmm.. while i ponder about that why dont you read my previous posts??

you are still here??done reading the previous crap??hmm...I donno..I cant think of anything 'insane' enough.

NOW THATS SERIOUS..if am not insane, then am not me!
So have i lost myself?

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

Life seems to be full of surprises nowadays..After all the AAGNEYA hype died down, and the Lab exams were handled, things were expected to go back to the boring old normal.But in my case things are just getting better and better..I really mean better.Tour planning started right after Aagneya and ever since the places were fixed most of my thinking time has been dedicated to day dreaming about the tour.We are the first batch ,says kuttan privileged to go on 'study tours' in all the three years.Now thats something:)
What makes this tour different?

1.Its longer than the last two.Ten days of taking care of yourself.Thats like enough to forget what your neighbor looks like rit?

2.Travel by train;That gona be really cool!..I think!

3.it is to places that I cant go otherwise..well thats there with every tour.I've never gone to any place out of town just for recreation or enjoyment..Nope..Not one..My parents are too dedicated to their work that they find it a crime to take leave for any trip unrelated to work.You can understand my irritation toward people who actually get to go to Kashmir and Manali and stuff with their parents and still think they have it tough.Boy am I jealous of all the 'am going to Blablabla with my parents' LTC' kids.I am even thinking of financing some terrorist organizations, cause terrorism seems cancel more trips reducing my frustration by considerable amount..Ah..who am I kidding!

4.To avoid unpleasant events am off all 'official' tourduties this time;which is very hard job for me cause am the kind of person who likes being busy like a bee with my brain runnin at 10000Rpm.So like I said, am off all the official stuff, like finance and IVs and stuff.But unofficially I still get to know things.Am really thankfull to the guys and gals for letting me in on the discussions and stuff.

5.planning started earlier ;May be this is the reason for most of the excitement in class.Even during series preps tour never failed to come up.We gals have gone shopping many a times in the name of this tour.Its totally wild how every conversation ends up in this single topic.

6.If I didnt enjoy the last tour, It was because I missed to see where I belong.Do you know how it feels when you dump all you other pals to hang out with somebody and the 'somebody' just goes off for 'somebody-else', leaving you to feel stupid.For the people who read the above lines as cheesy romance-oh cm'on ppl..you think am that bad?For the information of some 'am-still-in-doubt's - its not a guy..trust me!So this time I am fully equipped with enough backup hangout buddies,am ready to take on a fair bit of loneliness and am not gona let anything or ANYBODY ruin this trip for me..

With five whole days still remaining, I've packed and unpacked many times (and realised that it doesnt make your bag lighter), and I could just get on the train and go right now..:-)..Hope everything goes fine!

PICHALE EK MAHINE MEIN

This post shud have been one filled with joy and excitement about everything that happend during the last one month..About finding new friends,about finding my strengths and falls, about working together day and night for one goal-AAGNEYA '09..This one month seemed to have brought much meaning to otherwise meaningless college life, and I should be happy about it.But me being me, and the life being mine...Well nothing lasts for ever!Writing about all that happend in the past month was something I was really looking forward to.But once again I found myself in a situation that i always find myself..IN TROUBLE!

On Jan 15th my theory exams ended..end of another semester.We had started talking about AAGNEYA since september.Me, Sankar and Mathew had already gone on meeting with some firms for sponsorship by december, though not many knew that.Yes we were working, but without motivation..For me the real fire started burning from Jan 20th..Dont know if it was the sudden realisation of the enormity of the task and lack of time or the change of the whole organisational setup that spurred the enthusiasm..(Having people of your wavelength to work with does matter..no offense).What ever it was, it worked.We had our own headquarters(Thanks to KK), our own laps(thanks to chulli,ajay,sherry chechi, robin cheettan and many other laptop donors yet unknown to me) and we had a dedicated team.You would be amazed by how people can breath, sleep and live for AAGNEYA...to bring EUPHORIA...to make GECB proud!Soon time became a blur..A college of names,phone numbers, dates, appointments, addresses, visiting cards, estimates, some short lived moments of glory and long lasting depression over 'theppu's (which came from all sides..In Mammutty style..
90k ennu paranju deoptions thechu,
4 ennu paranju pepsi'yum thechu
Pinne Airindia'yum Cola'yum NIMS'um angane angane...
Chanthu'vine thekkan ini aarumilla makalee)

There were days I didn't even step in my class room.And amazingly my life was falling into a pattern..A schedule;something that I never had-Go to college at 9, wait till somebody opens the AAGNEYA room, dump your bag on the couch, flip through the black diary (the one were all the appointments and followups were written down), call this or that person, go meet someone hoping the recession hadn't hit them badly (the recession was there in the tip of every other owner/manager/HR's tongue), go home in the evening hoping to stay longer and finish things off.Saturdays were a problem and I had think up new subjects to 'combine study' every satureday morn so that i can getout off home and go to college.Sundays just bugged me a lot..What a waste of useful time.Bringing EUPHORIA was the biggest challenge.Demands kept coming..Business class flight tickets, 5 star accommodation, Import quality Drumset,Hi-fi sounds..everyday the numbers kept going up..cant blame them..They are quite a BIG deal..Every second we think we sorted smething out, something bigger will come up.Every single second the enormity of the numbers that we talked amazed me..can we really do it?If we do it, it ill be SENSATIONAL..but can we?By the end it was really a blurr..A huge target to meet and no time left at all..Things started crumbling for me too..My benchmates started complaining about not seeing me in class,I hadnt done anything for my mini project and my innervoice(yes, we are still together..giving me another chance) started telling me i was missing too many classes and that things were going a bit too smoothly.I started to panic..As if he picked up the scent of secrecy in my moves my dad beloved friend, the HOD, dropped some 'remarks' about me being very busy with 'activities' in colleges.When I finished handling that situation at home ("its all free hours ma..u think I will cut class?") somebody, who claims to be in my class calls and tells my folks that she 'hadnt seen me in class for so long and got concerned'..WHAAAM..Strike one..Who ever that was, May you rot in hell (if it was on purpose).All this did cause me to fall behind a bit on all that I was supposed to do and be over-depressed(sorry Rogin and Hari..for all the irritation I took out on you guys).Sometimes things got so much into my head that I started wondering if we could really pull this off..Some mistakes were made on the way because of lack of coordination and man power and I kept getting pissed off at my self thinking about all this..But every single time I walked into that room and saw the people sitting there, working and brainstorming, I couldnt but feel elite to be part of the team, to be a GECBian..and i wud jump back in regretting the fact that i hesitated.

On 13th feb 2009, AAGNEYA '09 kicked off..There were a lot of obstacles,drawbacks, unexpected setbacks..Never felt so tense and excited at same time..I cant imagine how the coordinators must have felt.If I, a mere teammember felt so anxious, then the team heads must have gone mad..But everything went fine..'Ultimate challenge' and '5 point sum one', two brilliant creations of my own class, turned out fantastically.My whole class, (special mension to all 25 of my dear gals) was there all three days running the 5 counters.To think that there were occasions that made me think I'll never die seeing everyone stand together..am so damn proud of being a 'CALIBER'ian.Gokul took charge and ran 'Best engineer' beautifully,thanks to Sindhya chechi, Adhub cheettan, Sibi, Anoop, Ganesh and everyone else.Though sitting at the information desk made it almost impossible to check out whats going on with all the competitions, I could tell that participation was not so bad.But there was still the ultimate hurdle..The Proshow..By the end of the 2nd day everyone was going absolutely mad.And I had to take the chance of asking my dad for money, like everyone else..WHAAAM..Strike two..I did expect getting an amount of 0.00 crores from home (ee recession kandu pidichavane thalli kollanam) but what i didnt expect was my parents reading me asking money as 'I got myself too involved and took up all the responsibility of money'..So me and my sister were dragged out of kanakakkunnu by the end of 'Best singer' (which I dint see at all cause I was busy running around *sigh*) by my very concerned father.After a very eventfull (read as theri-full) dinnertime at home, I went to sleep.
Day 3 was at the same the time the best and the worst day of my life.I woke up with splitting head ache,I had no balance so I couldnt call my baby sis to wish her happy birthday, My parents were still not impressed or conviced by my explanations and by the time I reached kanakakunnu it was noon.But 2 hours of the Proshow that I as lucky enough to see was more than enough to forget everything..It was FANTABULOUS.. EUPHORIA really rocked the stage..ok, so there were more than a few off pitch and wrong notes, but when you are there standing infont of the stage, with a crowd going mad, NOTHING MATTERS.It was impossible not to be jumping and screaming (I believe I have made that point clear to all the ppl who watched the telecast of the concert on Kairali)..It was a never before thing for me..Even when I was sad that I didnt have any of my friends with me at that time, I couldnt but jump and scream like a woman of no dignity...and...WHAAAM..STRIKE THREE and AM OUT!..plain and simple..My dad didnt like me jumping around..so after a bit of public scene making (mostly contributed by me) I was taken home..Again..why the hell dont I learn ha?When your parents are around be quite..be gracefull..be not you..*sigh*..(why i cant I be just me?)

So Aagneya..It was a great experience.Though my parents have took away all my allowances and privileges and I hav lost lots and lots of attendance..BUT..it doesnt really matter that much..AAGNEYA WAS THE BEST...It taught me many things..How to handle people, How promises are nothing until they are on paper, about procedural way of doing things, about so many firms and shops,about their thepps, about Euphoria, Avial, Synaps and other bands, about web streaming..about college spirit, about working together, about making mistakes, about the importance of proper planning, about expressing you opinion, about people...and ultimately about me..

Ps:
trin trin...trin trin
"Hello.."
"Hai di, am at park rajadhani."
"Oh,how come?"
"eh..u dint know?Aagneya Success Treat.."
"Aagneya WHAT???"
"Dont worry..ppl here were just saying its a pity u cant make it"
"Oh really?may be they shud hav thot bot calling me.."
*End of depressed transmission*

THE SHORTSTORY ABOUT AN UN-PUBLISHED SHORTSTORY (AND THE SHORTSTORY)

Being in the magazine committee,my friends and I had the previllage to read through the creations of many, and evaluate them...which means we put some of your creations in the dust bin people..Muhahahahahaha..just kidding! But when the time came to submit my own article, my mind went blank..I couldnt even write my normal jibberish, let alone a good article.Our beloved Magazine Editor Kuttan kept extending my deadlines cause I never met any.Then one fine day in the middle of a lecture ( to which i obviously wasnt payin much attention) I decided to write another one of my stupid stories("Attention people of bikkinibottom,we have a situation. please panic and run around in circles")..ok ok..so i know my stories had been scaring the hell outa ppl.Most of my friends thought I was just a bit odd till they read my stories.But now all of them know am off my rocker.But this time it wasnt the usual chalu;a bit more dry kinda story(No ppl, am not saying that just so you will read it)Anyway by the time I finished and sent the story, kuttan had already set the pages and he couldnt fit mine in..So the world was safe once again,thanks to....ahh..ANYWAYS..i decided i want to get some reviews for this one.so here it is..READ ON!



The skies opened up and it was pouring down from the heavens.She stood near the window gazing at the water bubbles.She could bearly reach the window pane.She tried to reach out through the window and get her hands wet.But her tiny arms weren't long enough.She wanted to 'touch' the rain..know what it felt like.Everyone kept telling her never to go out in the rain.'Too young' they said.Somebody seem to have left the front door open.The rain as inviting her our, to dance with its mesmerizing beat.She slowly walked towards the door, into the rain..for the first time.And it almost took her breath away!!The chill of the rain engrossed her.It overwhelmed every sense known to her.As the rain carassed her little body, she stood lost in wonder..not knowing the minutes that passed by or the growing numbness in her feet..untill she was pulled inside by some pair of hands.
***
The skies opened up and it was pouring down from the heavens.She was cutting through the rain with such determination that it looked as if she was dwelling with the rain.Her face was screwed up in obvious anger.The rush of adrinaline into her vains was something quite out of her control.She was angry at people who stood against her will, even when she knew they were just concerned about her.She was taking it out on the rain.And the rain was fighting back.The umbrella was doing no favour to her, as the rain was comin down with an intensity mirroring her anger. The water had rised upto her ankle by now and it was getting harder to walk against the rain.It was as though the rain wanted to stop her.It pushed her back with all its might, taking on its most furious form.She was starting to loose the battle.The rain seemed to sense the opponent's growing weakness. With a sweep, it snatched the umbrella off her grasp.She let out a scream of anger;every last bit of it that was inside her.She kneeled on the bare earth in exhaustion.Slowly the rain took up the form of a purifier.It seemed to wash away every single bit of anger in her.She gave her self up and let the rain sooth her pain.The rain was telling her how much they all loved her,and how anger was not a solution.It listened with patience to every sorrow in her heart.As though understanding the rain's murmur she slowly got up and walked back.
***
The skies opened up and it was pouring down from the heavens.She stood near door gazing into infinity, with no emotions what so ever on her face, but tears were streaming from her eyes.Nobody could stop her tears, like no one could ever stop the rain.The rain seemed to sing the song of her grief.It was playing a soft rythem on the leaves.Like a loyal friend, it took the ashes along with it, to the river that was over flowing into the courtyard, which will take it to the holy waters.It was trying to sooth the pain in her heart, but it cannot be done.She seemed to have lost more than her child.The life in her eyes seemed to have drained away,leaving nothing but grayness of the ashes.The laughter of her child was being played over and over again in her mind, as if a record player stuck on a track.The rain was whispering in her ears now.As the wind blew south, no one noticed her walking slowly into the rain.It embraced her, as goddess Earth had embraced her daughter.It took her grief, her pain,her tears..It took her with it, as she journeyed into the whirlpools to meet her child.
***
(The author of this story is an 'amateur' blogger who blogs at
http://moments-of-insanity.blogspot.com/ .This entire story was typed
in her mobile as text messages during class hours)

MISS.I-KNOW-HOW-TO-DRIVE's FIRST DAY OUT

I got my four-wheeler licence about 6 months ago by pure dumb luck.Neither did I know how to drive properly and nor did I have the confidence.My driving instructor just wanted to get rid of me so badly that she put me for the test way before i learned to drive properly.And the driving inspector just wanted to end the test some how and go get medicine for his headache that he just scribbled 'pass' in my form even after i crash landed the car.Then it was our driver who took the task into hands and decided to teach me.After 6 months of training I got the courage to take my car out to college by myself.
Things were going so great.I went to college, took my friends for a spin and came back.one of my friends went home and sent a text praising me on how much I've improved.And i was feeling so full of pride..
'Thank you Thank you..why you are so kind!Yes, i do drive pretty well, don't I?Right from my childhood I knew I was destined for a life on wheels..'....BANG..
yup..I was so busy feeling full of myself that i didnt notice a stupid auto driver overtaking me on my leftside.I know..You aren't supposed to overtake on the leftside..IDIOT..and ofcourse i was supposed to pay attention also..anyway the traffic police instructed me to pull over and deal with the autoriksha guy.
My heart was beating at 80kmph..
I parked and got out.From the guys face I got it that he was gona make it a big deal and try and get money from me.The minute he started talking I started to yell at him..I was screaming how he broke the traffic rule by overtaking on the left(which was my only point to drive) and how he has cost a fortune for me cause the left side of my car is totally ruined(which had a couple of scratches).His face slowly changed in awe because of the speed at which I as talking..And after a couple of minutes of staring at me, he decided to leave..
Man..was that a scary few minutes..I have no idea how I drove the rest of the way home.So ppl..Don't get too worked up when ppl say you are good at some thing.

DO WE BELIEVE IN WHATS RIGHT?

I am right in the middle of my semester exams and a strange sort of lazyness has gripped me.Even when my mind knows that i need a good score this sem,I study only when i am with others.yes.it is pure vanity.And as part of this strange new disease, i went ahead and watched 'Rang De Basanthi' on Youtube.I have always wanted to see it.Even though i couldnt have chosen a worst time for watching it, I felt so good for doing it.Call me a wuzzy,but i was wimpering all through the final scenes.I can understand why it was such a hit among the youngsters.It portrays (almost) all that frustrates and irritates the youth in our country..correption, dirty politics and so on.Some thing that came to my mind after watching it was that how u act and what you think to be right depends a lot on how you see and take things....Aamir and others RDB saw how the govt was turning a blind eye on the whole MIG thing ..and they understood that it was wrong.They truely believed that what was happening was wrong and that them reacting can open others' eyes.And it was that belief in their actions that made them strong enough to overcome fear.Now maybe Kazab and the 9 other terrorists, who unleashed those 66 hours of pure terror in Mumbai on 26/11, were also under such an impression.They must have believed or have been taught to believe that doing such an atrocitious deed as killing so many innocent people will get them what ever damn thing they wanted.They really must have believed their actions were good.MAN, WERE THEY WRONG!Killing innocent people will not open the gates of any heaven for you, thats for sure.Man,do i feel sorry for those 10.They were wrong, they did wrong and they died doing wrong.How bad can u life go?So i wonder..Do i believe in whats right?How do we know whats right?Are the people who tell us right from wrong right?I guess thats what life is all about!Figuring out whats right and whats wrong!