So much have changed...

Seriously...Life was so easy back then.. 10 years ago,there used to be this really nice kid, who was loved by all the teachers..Who used to study from 6 to 9..Listened to her mother.. and the world was so fine!!!...wonder what happend to her??? Life as i knew it once has changed...a lot

For starters , my mother has decided that I'll never learn and is better left to learn on my own..The absence of her constant scolding is starting to scare me..Her yelling meant i was doing something wrong.It never stopped me from doing what I thought to be right..But I still knew what all were wrong..But now, seeing her walk away with an expressionless face (may be there was a Monalisa smile hidden somewhere in the corner of her lips, or may be a mischievous twinkle in her eyes) it just nags me..bestuu..till now I've been nagged about her yelling at me..now am nagged about her not yelling at me*:-O*..Like Mark twain said " In order to make someone want anything,its only necessary to make it difficult to get"..Ok..that isn't exactly the case here..*:-D*...but still...

I've gone from Teachers pet to a "who?"..Cutting classes..Bunking labs..and having no clue of what has been taught in half the subjects..Yes,i know..you would say that i am exaggerating the whole situation(As usual)..when i mentioned this to Appu,he said college is supposed to be like that..and that everyone is in the same state..but my inner voice is planning to file for a divorce..it started screaming and yelling so much during the last two years that i put in on mute...Sure,I got through the stupid question thrown at every single 15 year old's face in this state..Med or Engg..that was purely because what i wanted wasn't an option..now there is a new question thrown right at me...WHAT AFTER COLLEGE??...and this is not even an objective question..No a b c...just fill in the blanks...Rinku told me to give it atlest a week's thought before i give into any decision..you shouldn't regret like the last time,she says..But last time,atleast i knew what i wanted and what i would get..this time,it all blanks.

And to talk about being a nice girl..i still haven't figured out if it is really my mistakes or just the narrow minded,gossip oriented minds of the small society that i exist in, that has made my life so miserable for the last few days..since we are blaming me here, lets just say that it was my bad choices that brought me to this state..I don't know who my real friends are..and I'm not sure if I want to continue with some of the friendships I have..and above all this, I just don't seem to care about all that nowdays..Have i grown into a selfish and selforiented brat??Have i created a monster??

I look back and realise, that being a kid who never knew what the world was all about was far more easier..You dint have to make choices..you dint have that pressure on you to tell right from wrong...you dint have much on your mind than homeworks and cartoons..and you dint have to look out for back stabbers and doublecrossers among your pals..back then life was all rosy..

But i don't regret growing up..not like i had a choice..i have to admit there were wonderful times along the way..and some nice ppl who crossed my path unknowingly;and later on joined my walk..some I've said goodbye..some just fell behind..i've fallen,but i have gotten up..wounds have been made, but they have been healed by time..i'm sure there are lots and lots of surprises left...Let them be good or bad,i still am gona live for atleast half a century and meet thousands of ppl..And till i see the lights i will surely just walk on..still talking too much and forgetting to look both ways when i cross *:-D*..you see,there should be some things that never change right??*;-)*